How many people do you know that you can’t tell anything to? You can present them with a powerpoint presentation full of graphs and bullet-points illustrating why it is that your argument is factual and somehow they will still find an excuse as to why they are right. How many people do you know that are just never wrong, even when the entire universe disagrees with them?
Maybe you’re in a disagreement with someone and you realized it was you that was wrong. Maybe you were actually right, but saying so, or at least saying so in a certain way, could lead to you getting yourself into trouble. Maybe you’ve been blatantly disrespected by someone for some unforeseen reason. Maybe you find yourself in a rut financially and you’re forced with the decision of whether or not to ask for help.
In your never-ending quest for self-development, you’re frequently going to find yourself in situations that test your character. I’ve seen too many people (including myself) shoot themselves in the foot because of their desperate attempts to protect their ego. When you live your life as a slave to your ego, you give every person or circumstance that tests it the power to control you. You start to develop these unconscious defense mechanisms that end up leading you deeper into the ditch you keep digging for yourself. What’s even worse, you keep complaining about it to other people until the only ones left are the those with the exact same mindset. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy you keep reinforcing while you spiral down until you eventually hit rock bottom.
“Complaining is one of the ego’s favorite strategies for strengthening itself.” – Eckhart Tolle
If you’ve ever found yourself in a physical altercation with someone that wasn’t a result of self-defense, I’m willing to bet you that not only was it completely unnecessary, but your chances of being worse off afterwards would be significantly higher than had you chose not to engage. The only thing that a fist-fight solves is who has the bigger ego. It’s purely a primitive response that any intelligent, mature, and well-grounded person would never resort to unless absolutely necessary. True power comes from the ability to understand that you are above your emotions, and you refuse to let anyone dictate your response to their words or actions, no matter how heinous or disrespectful.
Imagine if we evolved enough as a species to at the very least understand the power of not being controlled by our ego. This simple realization could have the potential for peace and prosperity throughout the entire planet. Maybe I’m a dreamer, but one thing I know for sure: a world dominated by the size of our own individual egos will most certainly lead to immense suffering and destruction.
In just about every spiritual teaching, ego is viewed as something we need to overcome. In Buddhism, the very root of our ego is fear. Enlightenment is the ability to distance yourself from this fear in order to liberate the spirit. There is a growing number of people, particularly in the west, who are even partaking in ceremonies of the ancient tribes of the Amazon in order to cleanse themselves of negative unconscious behavior. The ceremony involves drinking a hallucinogenic brew called ayahuasca, which allows people to separate themselves from their ego in order to obtain inner-peace and self-knowledge.
While I’m all for self-realization and enlightenment, I want to make the important distinction between the elimination of ego, and the control of it. Ego is tool that I believe we all need in order to progress as a society. It allows us to understand how we communicate with each other and identify any potential dangers we might encounter. As much as I would love to see us all live together in harmony, it’s important to understand that there are people with bad intentions out there that will try to take advantage of you. Our egos allow us to overlook the naïvety of our good-natured tendencies.
How well you respond to the inevitable conflicts life will throw at you will ultimately determine the level of suffering (and happiness) you will experience. To the extent we can set aside our pride, ego, and past thought-patterns that don’t serve us, and begin to understand the power of our ability to take control of our lives, we will be able to achieve the ultimate level of individual freedom and growth.
Rather than regurgitating the “hindsight is 20/20” mantra, how about taking a second to think about why it is that we are having this response in the moment itself? Whatever it is you need to do in order to be more present, whether it’s meditation, reading, exercise, or worship, make it a point to practice these things regularly. Set aside some time for yourself to be in solitude, and to ultimately be comfortable doing so. Find your peace and practice it daily. I promise you that the rewards of self-mastery are worth it.
Another good thought. Keep em coming ❤️