I Love You For Free

We all know the power of love, it’s no secret. Most of us live and would die for it. We base almost everything we do off of love; whether it’s through the sacrifices we make, the inspiration for our life’s work, or the direct or indirect affection we show to the people around us. No matter how subtle the gesture, we find the source of it to be either out of fear or love. When it comes down to it, what is fear but simply the feelings we feel related to losing something or someone we are attached to?

For something that has such a profound affect on people’s lives, I don’t think love gets the respect it deserves. We treat it as something that is supposed to be reciprocated back to us in the exact way that we expect, a mirrored expression of what we sent out. And to receive anything less than our expectation somehow has led us to put restrictions and conditions on our love out of fear of being hurt. We start to change the language we have in our heads about loving people. We go from a simple ‘I love you’ to ‘I love you, unless you do this’, or ‘I love you, until you start loving someone else’. In order to protect ourselves from hurt or rejection we withhold the most beautiful thing about ourselves.

If your idea and expression of love is based off of the possession of someone, you are fighting a losing battle. You’re not coming from a true place of love, but a place of fear. Maybe it’s the fear of being alone, or a feeling that you just aren’t good enough without this other person. Whatever your reasoning for doing so, you are putting the impossible task of keeping you happy in the hands of someone else. No matter how good intentioned that person is, they are human, and they will mess up. When they inevitably do, it’s your duty to love them anyway.

If it comes to a point where the person you love decides not to be with you for any reason and you find yourself in a position where you feel you can never forgive them, ask yourself if it was truly love in the first place. True love is the willingness to let go of someone for the sake of their own happiness. Anything else is rooted in selfishness.

“If you love a flower, don’t pick it up. Because if you pick it up, it dies and it ceases to be what you love. So if you love a flower, let it be. Love is not about possession. Love is about appreciation.” -Osho

The power of love is in it’s unconditionality. We say and do questionable things outside of our integrity because of our fear of losing what or who we are attached to. You can’t take anything with you when you die. You were born alone and you will die alone. Your futile efforts to maintain your grip on all the things you are attached to will ultimately only lead you to more suffering.

So start loving for free. Love the person who broke your heart. Love the person who wronged you or hurt you intentionally. Love your enemies, your fears, your obstacles, even the people who have hate in their hearts for you. Love them all, if even just for the lessons they’ve taught you. Forgive those who acted against you out of their own fears and insecurities. But most importantly, forgive yourself. Don’t overcomplicate what this life is all about.

You deserve better, and you are loved.